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I fell asleep on the sofa.
It was already one o'clock in the afternoon when I woke up. I actually slept for twelve hours, the bright sunshine hit my face, and when I opened my eyes, it was a golden world, reflecting the embarrassment and embarrassment of last night like a dream.
It might really be a dream. I don't allow myself to continue thinking.
The adult world is good. When I was young, there was a little sadness, some of which are time aftertaste and sadness. Work doesn't allow you to sink, so wash your face, shake your head, hold your heartbreak and make money.
I have never been to the hospital again, nor have I contacted Yu Huai. I remember that two days later was the day when he returned to the United States.
I have so many things that I don't understand, but he has already said it clearly. Maybe no matter how I change it, in his eyes, the pitiful grudge is naturally inferior to his kind of talented student who runs all the way on the broad road.
Shit, who is rare.
Who cares about you.
I closed my eyes and raised my head, tears suffocating.
Lin Fan was discharged from the hospital a week later. The three of us went to pick him up, and my dad allowed me to follow him in an unprecedented way.
So I almost chased after my dad again.
Lin Fan stayed in the hospital for more than four weeks, and a car of belongings was packed up around the bed, which was truly breathtaking. I watched from a distance as my dad and Aunt Qi were busy putting everything away and arguing in a lively manner, somehow I felt that this look was also very harmonious.
Will Lin Fan still think of his biological father?
That kind of family affection is much deeper than the three-year sympathy between me and Yu Huai? My memory of the atmosphere of a family of three created by my parents should be much more than the memory of Class 5, right?
But it does not prevent me from looking at these two people who will eventually be with each other for a lifetime, and feel that time is really great, there is nothing wrong, nothing can't let go.
I think I should also say goodbye to my past, and then hand over the rest to time.
"Dad!" I yelled to him, "You go first, I have something to do."
I can't recognize Yu Huai's mother.
There are three wards for uremia and similar cases. I went in one by one and went around. I didn't see a face like Yu Huai's mother. Instead, I saw the dead old woman who almost scared me to death last time.
I remember Yu Huai said that they were in the same ward, so it should be here.
Looking around the faces of six people, a woman with a pale and puffy face kept looking at me.
I wanted to make a careful identification from her eyebrows, but she suddenly spoke and asked, "Who are you looking for?"
The sound was as soft as a feather.
I have long heard that patients with uremia cannot do heavy physical work, and I did not expect that they will become weak.
"I want to see Yu Huai's mother."
She smiled, and the sickly soft flesh on her face piled up together, without any wrinkles, which was terribly weird. "I am. Are you his classmate?"
"Yes," I nodded, "Hello Auntie, my name is Geng Geng."
She slowly raised her eyes, wondering if it was due to fatigue or something else.
"So it was you," she said.
Yu Huai's mother and I have nothing to talk about. Actually, I don't know why I want to take a look. Apart from the hospitality and respect for the elders in the same hospital, maybe because of the last bit of curiosity.
Yu Huai’s mother seemed to be very happy that someone came to visit her and asked me a lot about my work. She kept holding my hand and said, “It’s so good, it’s great, it’s so promising.”
As a result, I can't even remember the original appearance of the fierce aunt at the parent meeting.
"Auntie, I wish you a speedy recovery," I was a little embarrassed, "During this period, I didn't bring any flowers and fruits to see you, I..."
"Auntie remember, I wasn't happy to let you sit at a table with Yu Huai, did I?"
I didn't expect her to take the initiative, thinking she had forgotten who Geng Geng was.
Do people like to remember when they are sick? Yu Huai's mother slapped my hand and didn't wait for my response, but just continued.
"At that time, I was really afraid that he would not follow the righteous way, and I didn't have time to care about him. His grandparents were not in good health. My father couldn't come back all the year round. Of course I had to do his filial piety for him. So I was very impatient with Yu Huai. , Do things without considering his feelings. After six or seven years of illness, many things have been seen. I have delayed him twice. This time it is better to die. If you can't save it, you can't save it. I know it's not dead yet."
"Don't say that..."
I have said that I am not fit to comfort people at all.
"He has been admitted to Tsinghua University, so I can't live up to it. The family is short of money. If his dad hard-transferred back then, the family would have no money to treat me. You don't know, this disease is a bottomless pit, every week. He needed dialysis and couldn’t support it. At that time, Yu Huai had to give his kidney to me. How could I have lost the rest of his life for the sake of my old life? After the kidney transplant, he was half a waste. The road to the unparalleled, waited until the kidney source, and finally spent all his savings for surgery."
I was so sad that I could only hold her hand tightly.
"His dad couldn't come back. He had a serious rejection after a kidney change. He had to take medicine all the time. The result was more expensive than dialysis, and he couldn't live without people. Yu Huai told me that he would not go to Beijing."
Yu Huai's mother suddenly cried.
"He was admitted to Tsinghua University. Tell me he will not go."
I stared at the woman who was crying so hard. Her cry suddenly became very far away in my ears, very far away.
Yu Huai went to a key engineering university in the city to take care of his mother while attending school, and worked hard to complete all the credits within three years.
"He told me that he had re-study for a year. When he was the most uncomfortable, his friend sent a text message to persuade him. It was nothing to be sad. It was a big deal that he would live a year longer than others and he would earn it back. So he worked so hard and couldn't get to Tsinghua University. I'm struggling to graduate in the same year as my classmates."
Of course I know this sentence.
Because I sent it to him.
"At that time, my illness had improved and I couldn't do heavy work, but I didn't need to be hospitalized. I thought it was all right. However, when he said he was going to study in the United States, I was still worried that there was no money at home, how could I afford it? He? He said that he took a full scholarship and worked by himself without help from the family. The deposits were collected by relatives. I was not feeling well. His last volunteer was delayed by me. This time I can't delay Him."
"Who knows now..." Yu Huai's mother cried more and more sadly, "Do you think I should die?"
I listened quietly, unable to say a word.
There are too many heavens and disasters in this world. I'm not mature enough to look at it calmly, so I can only hang up on my own. But when everything happened to Yu Huai, I really couldn't deal with it with a normal heart.
"Don't blame Auntie for pulling you around. Auntie feels bitter, and knows that he and his dad are more bitter, and can't talk about life and death with them all the time. Wouldn't it make them more uncomfortable? I made such a good one. The child was pitted. He was very happy to tell me that he met you before, saying that you are developing well now. He feels that he can't lift his head in front of you, saying that he is so old and not as good as you. Being independent makes me happy and sad to see you. I wonder who is to blame? Isn't that all to me?..."
Yu Huai's mother cried like this for a long time, and finally let go of my hand shyly. I don't remember what beautiful words I said to comfort her.
After walking out of the ward for a long time, I couldn't help but look back.
People are still coming and going in the corridor. I used to think that the hospital was a bridge of life and death, but I forgot that before the end of death, the long process of unbearable life was also happening here. It tortured not only the sick, but also healthy people. In the confrontation with the death god, the patient gave his life, but his family gave his entire life.
I thought that the unpretentious boy was just unable to stand up because of a small setback. I thought he was still full of the arrogance of the proud man of heaven, but I didn’t know the guy who smiled and said to me, "Let’s sit at the same table together." Young man, thousands of rivers and mountains have passed behind him.
I suddenly saw him in the crowd, came over with a lunch box, and turned into the ward.
He said, "I will return to the United States the day after tomorrow." He didn't. Naturally, he didn't.
But I can't take a step and hold his hand again, asking about the long process.
I like the Yuhuai, the best and best Yuhuai.
But are those fragile memories of worship and beautification really enough to carry the sorrow of Yuhuai Mountain?
At that time he was the best him, and then I was the best me.
But between the best of us, a whole youth is separated.
The youth that couldn't be crossed no matter how running, had to stretch out his hand to say goodbye.
I turned around slumped and walked outside the door.